Why is it that parents are more accepting of gay daughters than gay sons?

I have a couple of lesbian friends that refuse to believe that their sons are gay, and they cleary are, or they will avoid it completely, but will be very accepting of gay daughters. I want to tell one of my friends so bad that her son is gay, but she knows; we just don't touch on the subject. I find this true about my straight friends too. Not just friends but in general.





Tell me what you all think.Why is it that parents are more accepting of gay daughters than gay sons?
Because of the prevelant gender hierachy inherent in society today: This stipulates different degrees of masculinity and femininity, with the dominant hegemonic masculinity centered on heterosexuality at the top and homosexual masculinity at the bottom. Heterosexual masculinity is perceived as being the norm. But what constitutes normality is socially defined. If all children were told that homosexuality was okay and heterosexuality was wrong then that would be the norm! Homosexual masculinity in a culture of hegemonic masculinity is seen as more feminine and less of a 鈥榬eal man鈥? But this is rubbish because sexual identity should be distinguished from biological sex, since being gay doesn鈥檛 make me less of a man anatomically or biologically. Sexual identity needs to break free from gender identity, since same-sex interest/activity does not violate male or female identities i.e. you can be gay and still be a 鈥榬eal man鈥?(whatever that is?!). But hegemonic masculinity still sees subordinate masculinities as threatening to the gender order/hierarchy and its power relations/dominance. To uphold masculinity you need to constantly ward of threats to it like femininity and homosexuality. The key to male dominance is heterosexual assertion. Homosexuality needs to be marginalized and vilified, so that male dominance is upheld: it boils down to the fragility of male identity. Problem is many homosexuals reject the stereotypes imposed upon them and cannot therefore be stigmatized. There is no hegemonic femininity in society...therefore male homosexuality is worse because it challenges the very sexual norm of society and the gender hierachy i.e. heterosexual and hegemonic masculinity which underlines much of our culture...no hegemonic femininity does this...


Why is it that parents are more accepting of gay daughters than gay sons?
Even without the question of sexuality, our society is much more accepting of females showing affection than of males showing affection. I've been talking this over with some friends, and we've come to the conclusion that it's all about gender roles and the power associated with them. Historically, males are the ones that have been dominant. Males doing male things are acceptable. Females hold the submissive role in our society. When females do male things, they are seen to be climbing the ladder of power. By emulating males, they are moving up in the ranks. So when women have relationships with women, a ';male'; thing to do, they gain power in our society. When men have relationships with other men, however, that's a ';female'; act, which actually forces them to step down the ladder and relinquish their innate gendered power.





That's our hypothesis as to why lesbians are more accepted in mainstream society, but it could be completely off-base. I hope it lends some insight, at least!
I think paremts react worse to hearing their son is gay than their daughter because when they hear their son is gay they think that their chance of having grandchildren is gone. But when they hear from their daughter that they're gay they think grandchildren are still a possibility.
Probably because the stereotype is that all gay men are flamboyant and feminine; while a gay woman can still be very feminine and fit the description that is expected of her.
Something about finding out your son is having anal with other men is disturbing. I know this one guy with a gay son that tried to kill his self when he found out he was a failure as a father
fathers feel they have to protect their daughters. that and its more accepted for girls to be gay or bi in the USA
I don't know what you're talking about. I'm a gay guy and my parents have excepted me since I came out to them.
theres more of a stigma about gay men, then gay women
gay men have negative views..for a man to be gay takes all the manliness away....